Rules
1# Enter fashions on the field wearing a pink dress with flowers, while everyone else is dressed like they’re going to a funeral in the traditional Derby Day black and white… and you’ll be a finalist like I was. Yay!
2# Drink happy juice by the bottle (with friends) not by the glass (it’s cheaper…)
3# Backing scores of winners is as simple as following Cracker Keenan’s tips on ABC 774 and studying the form guide…
4# Always put bets on before partaking in rule 2#…
5# In some cases following rule 4# may buy you more happy juice…
6# Flemington is Terra Nullius claim a 1 by 1 metre plot of grass early…
7# Bring binoculars to check out the colts… and er the horses…
8# Pre-race day ensure fake tanned legs do not appear coffee stained or Oompa loompa-like otherwise rule 1# won’t work. Just ask Flosey number 103 and Tiffany Blonde 74.
9# BYO snacks… in order to have extra funds for rule 2#.
10# Even if your feet hurt and the sky is overcast be thankful you’re not stuck in the Birdcage with racing egos and D-Z grade celebrity feather brains, many shipped in fresh from the USA. (They don’t get to see any horses. At least on the public lawn you might see two horseys.)
1 Comment
November 6, 2007 at 4:00 am
Show us some pictures, you Derby Day finalist! Congratulations