Rules
1# Enter fashions on the field wearing a pink dress with flowers, while everyone else is dressed like they’re going to a funeral in the traditional Derby Day black and white… and you’ll be a finalist like I was. Yay!
2# Drink happy juice by the bottle (with friends) not by the glass (it’s cheaper…)
3# Backing scores of winners is as simple as following Cracker Keenan’s tips on ABC 774 and studying the form guide…
4# Always put bets on before partaking in rule 2#…
5# In some cases following rule 4# may buy you more happy juice…
6# Flemington is Terra Nullius claim a 1 by 1 metre plot of grass early…
7# Bring binoculars to check out the colts… and er the horses…
8# Pre-race day ensure fake tanned legs do not appear coffee stained or Oompa loompa-like otherwise rule 1# won’t work. Just ask Flosey number 103 and Tiffany Blonde 74.
9# BYO snacks… in order to have extra funds for rule 2#.
10# Even if your feet hurt and the sky is overcast be thankful you’re not stuck in the Birdcage with racing egos and D-Z grade celebrity feather brains, many shipped in fresh from the USA. (They don’t get to see any horses. At least on the public lawn you might see two horseys.)
Show us some pictures, you Derby Day finalist! Congratulations